After 6 long weeks my eldest is back to school , He’ s just completed his first week back. I’ve managed to get some things done even with three other children at home. I’m one of those mums who like routine and structure but at the same time miss my child loads when he’s away from home, he just started year 3 and its different for him his routine and work have changed. He is coping so far but like many mums I’m worried how he will adjust as the weeks go by. He is a smart and intelligent boy and wise before his time, he reminds me of an old man with his slippers . I’m sure he’ll settle in and adjust fine but I do worry I’m sure that’s normal right ?
my second child will be starting nursery this week , 2 and a half days and she’s so ready , she’s the complete opposite to my eldest . she is loud and full of energy and always willing to try new things without a second thought. She is a bag of fun and never fails to make everyone laugh , but I’m scared I’m worried if she’s going to be picked on , if she will settle in and if she’ll like her teachers. I hope this week she takes it in her stride and makes herself proud. she bubbly and chatty so I’m hoping she will make friends easily and quickly.
I hope if your children are back at school or go back soon that is an easy ride for them. I hope they adjust well and make friendships and enjoy there work and like there teachers. but I also think we need to remind our children of bullying and what bullying Is . im not saying your child might be a bully or they are a bully. teaching about the right actions and words to say will show them what to do if someone is being unkind or what to do if they see someone being bullied.
I’m married !! I didn’t think that would ever happen to me . my husband and I got married of the 23rd of august this year, two weeks ago today. I thought It wouldn’t happen with everything unfolding and the years of trying to figure out how to make things right it really was the thought on my mind.
after the birth of our fourth child we decided that we deserve to have our family all sharing the same last name. I honestly couldn’t wish for anything better ,my husband is amazing ,hardworking ,stubborn, caring and so much more. being married feels great we all share the same name and I have the best husband and couldn’t be happier. having kids slows things down but it doesn’t mean you can’t follow your own dreams and happiness.
never feel like you can’t follow or make your own happiness.your human not a robot and while we run on empty most days its nice to know that things will happen and progress for you .you have to work hard, be patient and believe . im glad I waited because marrying the man of my dreams after having children ment they were there to experience it all with us. please follow what makes you happy , its never to late and never to soon .allow yourself to be happy to provide a happy home.
We all remember our younger days when we were in school who was our best friend, what friends you had over for dinner and what friends came for sleepovers, but when your a mum making friends seem basically near impossible, motherhood can be isolating. You miss the laughter, phone calls with gossip, the selfies and the enjoyable times you used to have.
I’ve always dreamt of being a social able mum but when I had my eldest I was 16 years old and many of my friends didn’t want someone around with that much responsibility. The more children Ive had the harder I find it to make friends, it’s near impossible for me. I tryed many things and even thought when my son joined primary school it would be easier nope it made things awkward, more so when he first started the first few months felt werid and it wasn’t until your child played with another that you found parents would approach you. I didn’t know what to do when parents came up to me I was a bag of nerves I think I said to myself “wait an adult human being what’s to talk? Is this normal? What do I do? What do I say?” honestly I contimplated to run towards the exit of the playground.
Making friends as a mum is like making friends when you first start school yourself only this time with more added pressure and questions running through your mind “will they like me?” “will they like my child/ren?” “will they dislike my parenting? I am I so soft or to hard them?” seriously when another adult human being actually wants to talk to you its scary, it’s werid and almost intimidating. You forget how to communicate and worry you going to start babbling and cooing at them like you do your children.
I’ve tryed baby and toddler groups and there also like school with the groups of friends they have already made if your a late arriver, you feel as if everyone’s eyes are on you and you feel isolated and scared to approach almost like there wild lions who haven’t been fed for weeks and your worried your the prey and there going to rip you to peices, trust me its scary and intimidating,
I’ve joined apps made for mums to make friends and socialise with. They are great but you end up talking for a while then it just stops out of no where and you may plan to meet and your kids or there kids are sick so you have cancel and never get round to rearranging the stress that goes into making friends it’s overwhelming.
I really would love to know how other mums make friends. My next challenge is to become the social mum I’ve always wanted to be? So what advice and tips do you guys have for me? Or where can I meet other fellow mums who feel anxious and awkward while making friends? please leave a comment and let me know, I will follow your advice and then let you know what happened and how it went!
So this is about you! These are the questions I ask everyday and what has help me to achieve and believe, I want you to start today, thinking in a positive way and putting your plans in action, it doesn’t matter what your doing being a mum doesn’t mean you have to give up on someone you are yet to become. Down below are a list of questions I want you to ask yourself, write them down and answer them, let’s start your remodel life today.
Here are the questions I want you to ask yourself..
Are you tired of the negative things and bad things happening to you?
Are you ready to take control of your future?
Are you ready for something new?
Are you ready to transform your life for yourself and family?
Answer these questions if your answer is yes to all of these questions then your ready to set your goals and dreams. I want you to look at your life and write down what areas you really don’t like it could be mental health, health and weight, fiance, relationships or work, if there’s an area in your life you want to work on write it down, that’s your starting point. Next work out your goal write down ways in which you want to get there for example: if you want to lose weight your goal could be weigh my self once a week or month or eat better and log my meals down or simply excerise more.
Set small goals that you can reach to begin with like buy more healthy food, log my meals, start watching dvd workouts at home or start a budget and meal prep to save money. These little goals will start you off on your remodel of life everything is do able but we must start small.
Please leave a comment about your goals and what your end goal is, it doesnt matter what it is no goal is ever to small or to big or silly I would love to hear about your goals and maybe help you to achieve them
Here’s a list of ways I manage and cope with my mental health.
Feeling journal :- I write in my journal every evening before going to bed about my day, what happened and how I felt, this helps me to let go of any negative thoughts and feelings and comparing how many bad and good days I have a week
Having a bath :- I use muscle relaxer bubble bath, and give myself some time to relax after a bad day, a bubble bath gives me time to allow my body and mind to feel at ease
Talk to my partner :- if I’m having a really bad day I will speak to my partner about what has happened and how it made me feel, and this helps me alot to feel I have support and help when I need it
Cleaning :- a bit of an odd one but cleaning helps focus my mind on a task rather then what I am feeling keeping my mind and body busy is always the best thing for me
Colouring in :- this allows me to feel relaxed and calm my mind is focus on the picture and what colours to use, and it actually shows what emotions I could be having this will show in the colours I use I find when I use bright and light colours such as orange, pink, yellow I’m in a positive state of mind if I use dark, heavy colours such as browns, blacks, greys and dark greens it means my state of mind isn’t where it should be
These are my mental health feel good tips. Do you have your own? If not try some of the ones I’ve talked about above, but remember what works for one may not work for another but trying to figure out what will help you is key
I think we all should talk about this even if your not a mum, it’s important to talk about it and seek professional help, mental health is devastating in many ways. I have suffered with postnatal depression shortly after my first born, I was 16 and a single mum with only the support of my family it was difficult. I was lucky that my mum was aware and actually rang my health visitor at the time.
I was then diagnosed with depression and anxiety where the doctor had giving me medication and numbers to ring to gain help and support, the only way I can describe what depression is to me it is like a massive rain cloud you don’t have the mental or physical energy to do anything.. Getting out of bed seemed like the hardest task. losing confidence in my appearance and disliking myself so much, it really feels like it’s always going to be a big factor in my life. Aniexty is awful feeling like everyone is talking about you, worried to complete anything new and what people will say about it. Im glad I went and got help I have good and bad days but I work on myself to make sure there are fewer bad days and more good ones.
If you think you suffer with any mental health issues or know someone who does its really important to seek professional help, it’s not easy to spot, I smile alot through it all I didn’t want my problems being anyone elses problem or burden. But please seek help. And if you know someone who could be suffering with there mental health please speak to them about it, always ask family and friends if there OK they may say there okay so always say are you sure I’m here for you!
Ways we can help are talking to them, checking in and making sure they are surrounded with love and support. If you think there just being a negative nelly or seeking attention please look closely because you could save someone’s life mental health is one of the biggest factors to suicide by surrounding them, listening and being supportive could save someone there child, parent, friend and partner just remember every life matters.
So if your a mum you will understand this completely. I’m a mum of four and often find myself repeating everything several times in one day! I got to a point of giving up. The cleaning got to much, tantrums got to much and being expected to do everything became overwhelming. I decided to give the tasks to my partner and give myself five minutes just to breath and compose myself.
After having a shower, brushing my hair and getting the children to bed I decided I needed to really look at myself and how I want my life to go. So I sat down and thought ‘ “what could I do to make myself better and feel positive?” I toke out my notebook and wrote down areas I really feel like I need to work on, next I looked online for ways to help those areas improve after that I watched countless you tubers, it did make me feel alot better and I understood asking for help, taking time out and wanting better for yourself is okay. I felt guilty for wanting to mend myself and wanting things to be better, as a mum I always feel guilty if I feel I need something or to do something,but I realised if I wanted happy children and a happy family the best thing to do was repair myself, change things and put things into action instead of complaining and I honestly now feel more positive and willing to Change areas in my life. I’m going to share some areas along the way in which I need to work on and over the next few days I will share with you what areas I have started to work on and hopefully I can help you along the way, being a mum is the best thing in the world but it’s also incredibly isolating and stressful so please stay tuned and read my blogs and we can rebuild our lives together.